Recently while cleaning out piles of paperwork and filing I came across a card my mother sent me while she was in residential treatment for alcoholism.
Dear Lori,
Thinking about you a lot, both the past and the future. I just wanted to say thank you for caring and loving me enough to see that I needed help, when I did not think I did. For taking the time in your busy schedule for me. For helping Dad, and being there for Dad. Thank you. Thank you for giving me the gift of recovery, a gift I didn’t know I needed nor could I give myself. I already know life is going to be better. Looking forward to the future and times ahead with you and my granddaughters. I love you.
Mom
Wow, it is amazing to reread this letter after so much time. It was even more amazing and almost shocking to receive this letter at the time. After so much heart ache! See we never thought the day would come when my mother would get help, let again thank me for it. She was the typical defensive alcoholic who did not want to go treatment willingly. It took an intervention spear headed by me to get her there. I won’t lie and say it was an easy process; it was anxiety provoking to say the least. But was it worth it? Definitely, my mother has been sober ever since.
As she so correctly puts it into perspective, we gave her the gift of recovery. So many times families who contact us are reluctant to pursue an intervention due to fear that the addict will feel ambushed or will be angry with them. My response to that: How can such an act of love delivered in a loving, respectful and caring way do that? And really, who cares if the addict does go to treatment angry, at least they are going. Many interventions end in hugs and tears of relief as the addict pours out “Yes, I know I really do need help. Thank you.” Other times they may lament on the car ride with us to treatment how shocked they are that their loved ones have done this. But the end result later, as proven by my mother, is one of gratitude and relief.
One individual in reflecting about his intervention stated, “It’s about time. I wondered why they had not done it sooner. I was ready, but I was never going to ask for treatment myself. Wow, I thought at the time, this is really happening. I thought about this day a long time, and I started to think it would never come.”
So to put this in perspective, as my mother poignantly put it, if you are thinking about an intervention you are really giving the gift of recovery. A gift that may not be asked for or well received from day one, but is a gift of a life time. A chance to start a new life for your loved one, a gift of recovery.
Categories: family personal accountTags: family, personal account, success stories